Knowing how kids work makes it easy to work WITH them. 💙
Hi, I'm Dr. Betsy
You can ENJOY being a parent!
Parenting can be exhausting, but also rewarding! At How Kids Work™, we want you and your child to enjoy your time together.
The secret is knowing how kids actually work.
If it seems like your child lives in their own world, you are right. They do!
They don't think like you do, they don't experience time the way you do, they don't have the same priorities you do, they have bigger feelings and more energy than you do, etc... All these things can create misunderstandings and struggles.
We cracked the code!
Our four mindshifts and the simple tools that go with them can help you step into your child's world and provide guidance without resistance. When your child's actions and reactions make sense, and you know what to do to help them, everything changes.
No guilt, no resentment, no coercion, no punishment, no letting them walk all over you. You CAN have the relationship with your children you’ve always wanted. There IS another way!
We'll show you how.
We know
How Kids Work™
We are a parenting company based on science, love, and experience. Our approach was developed over the last 30+ years by my mother, Sandy Blackard, master coach and founder of Language of Listening®, and now by me, psychologist and founder of How Kids Work™!
As a new mom of 2, Sandy was drowning.
3 YO Betsy (me!) was developing a defiant streak, and 5 YO Colleen had become anxious & clingy. After being mentored by a renowned play therapist, everything changed. She finally understood WHY we did what we did, and WHAT to do about it!
This transformed our entire family dynamic. Her parenting experience went from frustrating and guilt-filled to delightful and connective! We all loved spending time together. (We still do!)
The shift was so immediate and so life-changing, she thought, "every parent should know this!" She began teaching others, developed a unique 3-step approach, wrote an award-winning book (SAY WHAT YOU SEE®), and created life-changing online classes for parents and teachers.
Her Language of Listening® legacy, plus my Ph.D. in Positive Developmental Psychology, are the foundation of my work here at How Kids Work™.
Because of my mom's unique approach, I always felt supported, understood, and treated with respect, even when we disagreed, like she was always on my side! At every age, we remained close (including the teen years!). And now, it is my distinct honor to bring this new way of seeing kids and our time-tested skills to you.
It is my wildest dream that:
1) all children are raised feeling seen and valued, and
2) all parents ENJOY their parenting journey, feeling confident and capable at every step
My life's mission is to give parents the tools to make this dream a reality.
What we offer
Beloved by 1,000s of parents and educators
“I thought tantrums were just something kids do. You helped me realize my child is reacting to me ! And now I know what to do differently to stop tantrums!”
— Mena, father (1 yo), ABA Specialist
“Easy to immediately implement.”
— Lee, mother (5 yo)
“It has allowed us to assist our anxious daughter with her swings through big emotions resulting from my son's unstable health.”
– Joelle, mother (3 & 5 yo)
“I’ve been using the approach with [my kids] this week, and I am seeing some incredible changes already. I cannot believe all the hugs, kisses, and 'I love yous' – and I have ENJOYED my children in an amazing way!”
— Jenn, mother (2 & 4 yo)
“I really really love the approach - how it navigates the balance of holding healthy boundaries for kids in an empowering and respectful way <3”
— Jess (1 & 9 yo), homeschool parent
“…a simple, powerful way of working with children that’s as applicable to the challenges of adolescents as it is to the challenges of infants.”
– John Snyder, Elementary Educator, Austin Montessori School
“This class has changed my mind, my life and the way I interact not only with my child but with all people.”
— Ruxandra, mother (8 mo & 2 yo)
“I wish your book was part of every school, preschool, daycare, and parent program. It is easy to read, easy to understand, easy to apply, and makes such a difference.”
— Kellie Cole, M.Ed., LPC, RPT-S, Compassion Child & Family Counseling
“Your class really turned my children around.”
– Mara (9 mo, 3, 5, 12, & 19 yo)
Experience (and training) you can trust
Not only was I raised with these tools, I have dedicated my life to studying child development and have applied our approach across countless settings.
20+ years working with children and families as a preschool teacher, coach, trainer, and speaker
Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology
Language of Listening® Authorized Coach
TEDx presenter
Online course developer and facilitator
Speaker at Montessori schools & conferences
Media Appearances
Episode 38: Language of Listening (3-Part Heart Model)
Episode 63: Scripts for Sibling Conflict Management
Episode 64: The Role of Empathy in Parenting
BONUS MINI EPISODE: Scripts for when kids say, "I Hate School"
"Meet Dr. Betsy Blackard" Interview
"Meet Dr. Betsy Blackard" Interview
Dr. Betsy's Academic Publications
Heshmati, S., Ramdass, J. V., Mansfield. M. E., Blackard, M. B., Chipidza, W., Abazari, A., Cabreros, E. I., Ellis, O. A., Rombaoa, J., & Heshmati, H. (2025). Age and adaptation: Unraveling the role of social connections in coping with covid-19 across young and older adults. International Journal of Developmental Science. 19(3-4), 147-162. doi:10.1177/2192001X251352861
Smiley, P. A., Ahn, A., Blackard, M. B., Borelli, J. L., & Doan, S. N. (2024). Undoing mothers’ avoidant coping with children’s negative emotion: A randomized controlled trial of relational savoring. Journal of Family Psychology. 38(3), 365-376. doi:10.1037/fam0001186
Heshmati, S., Blackard, M. B., Beckmann, B., & Chipidza, W. (2021). Family relationships and adolescent loneliness: An application of Social Network Analysis in family studies [Special issue]. Journal of Family Psychology. 35(2), 182-191. doi:0.1037/fam0000660
Borelli, J.L., Smiley, P.A., Kerr, M.L., Hong, K., Hecht, H.K., Blackard, M. B., Falasiri, E., Cervantes, B.R., & Bond, D.K. (2020). Relational Savoring: An Attachment-based Approach to Promoting Interpersonal Flourishing. Psychotherapy Theory Research & Practice. 57(3), 340-351. doi:10.1037/pst0000284
McConchie, J., Hite, B. J., Blackard, M. B., & Cheung, R. C. M. (2019). With a little help from my friends: Development and validation of the positive peer influence inventory. Applied Developmental Science. 26(140), 1-20. doi:10.1080/10888691.2019.1693272
Rasmussen, H. F., Borelli, J. L., Smiley, P. A., Cohen, C., Cheung, R. C. M., Fox, S., Marvin, M., & Blackard, B. (2016). Mother-child Language Style Matching Predicts Children’s and Mothers’ Emotion Reactivity. Behavioural Brain Research, 325, 203-213. doi:10.1016/j.bbr.2016.12.036
DISCLAIMER
We are parent and personal growth coaches, not medical or mental health professionals. This website and the content provided herein are for adult use, meant to be thought-provoking, and are not intended or implied to be a substitute for advice, diagnosis, guidance, or treatment by a licensed medical or mental health professional. No liability is assumed for losses or damages due to the content provided. You are responsible for your own choices, actions, and results. You should consult a licensed medical or mental health professional for your specific questions and needs.
© 2025 How Kids Work™. All rights reserved.
The content of this website is the intellectual property of the website owner. Any unauthorized use is a violation of international copyright laws and can result in criminal or civil penalties.
DISCLAIMER
We are parent and personal growth coaches, not medical or mental health professionals. This website and the content provided herein are for adult use, meant to be thought-provoking, and are not intended or implied to be a substitute for advice, diagnosis, guidance, or treatment by a licensed medical or mental health professional. No liability is assumed for losses or damages due to the content provided. You are responsible for your own choices, actions, and results. You should consult a licensed medical or mental health professional for your specific questions and needs.
© 2026 How Kids Work™. All rights reserved.
The content of this website is the intellectual property of the website owner. Any unauthorized use is a violation of international copyright laws and can result in criminal or civil penalties.